Banning Best Friends?

I heard that some Chicago schools have banned best friends, but I had to discover if that’s true.

Sadly, it is. The practice isn’t universal but it’s not new. In 2010 the New York Times reported about this trend.

Some teachers and schools ban or try to discourage best friends to shield children from the hurt when there’s a disagreement with a friend or the loss of a best friend.

I couldn’t disagree more. Yes, friendship features hurt, but it also offers joy. Children can learn to be loyal, forgiving, helpful, honest, giving and responsible from having a best friend. Also, is it the school’s job to protect students from the pain inherent in life?

It seems schools and teachers should offer wise counsel on dealing with all facets of friendships as they impact a class and the individuals in it. These lessons are as important as anything in school. As an adult, I have had to work in more small groups than those of 10 or more.

I have been blessed with close friendships that started in school. I’m in contact with many of my close friends from high school. I’ve lost touch with those from grade school, but I still reap benefits of lessons learned from having and even losing those relationships. An article in Business Insider validated my belief in having close friends stating:

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The whole idea of No Best Friends, smacks of a dystopia like WE or 1984 where society dominates individual choice. If teachers don’t like dealing with social issues, they probably should find other work. It is part of child development, which is a class required for teacher education. There are plenty of books and films on friendship, which aid teachers in addressing the problems of friendship.

I think schools should allow students as much freedom as possible. A day at school, of necessity, requires a lot of rules: Don’t run in the hall, Don’t fight, Listen to the teacher, etc. There should be an area where children are free. You can’t legislate every facet of life. Children should learn to manage their social lives.

I’m wondering if children are getting punished for having best friends in these schools.

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